[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.2s] Alright, well, we're gonna start your training, I guess.
[4.4s] Okay, uh, what do we do?
[6.0s] Close your eyes.
[7.4s] Right at the edge where the water meets the land, a cold frost starting to spread out along the water.
[14.6s] Your powers will grow naturally as you begin to hone and perfect the abilities that you currently have.
[25.3s] So, since you've never really been anywhere, Dragon Lady, like, what are you doing here?
[29.2s] I am on a mission to save the world.
[32.2s] I'm sorry, save the world?
[34.6s] Both of you notice some people come in.
[37.2s] They're wearing very official guard armor.
[42.2s] Gotta take a whiz.
[43.2s] You begin to mosey out thinking you have the greatest disguise of all time.
[48.1s] There he is!
[49.0s] Glim! Hey, yeah, yeah.
[51.1s] Thanks for the nachos.
[52.6s] Don't forget to wash your hands.
[54.1s] But I'll stick my hand in there, see what I find.
[57.4s] Miss Man Meow-Meow's not gonna be very happy about this.
[60.8s] Oh, Miss Man Meow-Meow has nothing to worry about.
[63.5s] You can explain to her why you didn't go back with the book to explain that to her once we get back.
[70.7s] It's called playing love, god.
[75.2s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[76.9s] We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[82.4s] And with me today is Karla Johnson.
[84.6s] I am here and I play Glim.
[87.6s] I am a dragonborn pAlydin.
[89.9s] Also with me, Tom Laird.
[92.2s] Yeah, that's me.
[93.1s] I play Moot, who is a half-orc wild magic sorcerer.
[98.2s] And Amy More.
[100.6s] Yep.
[101.9s] That's my name.
[103.1s] Don't wear it out.
[104.7s] And I play Sullivan Slate, a lightfoot halfling rogue.
[112.5s] Welcome, everybody.
[114.0s] How are we feeling?
[115.1s] Feeling good.
[116.2s] Good, good.
[117.4s] I like Amy's classic.
[119.0s] That's my name.
[119.8s] Don't wear it out.
[121.0s] It's a real playground motif we got going on here.
[124.1s] It's very good.
[125.9s] I feel like there's going to be some rubber and glue coming up in this episode.
[129.1s] Who knows?
[129.8s] Oh, shit.
[130.5s] Who knows?
[131.2s] Who knows?
[132.0s] Maybe a fight at three o'clock by the seesaw.
[135.7s] You, me, bike racks.
[137.7s] Shit.
[138.8s] I mean, don't.
[150.8s] All our patrons are so nice.
[152.1s] I don't think they'd do that.
[153.7s] They're very nice.
[154.4s] Unless it was like to roll some die.
[156.6s] Yeah, and like play marbles.
[159.0s] We for sure have tape in our living room floor.
[163.0s] Summoning circle.
[164.2s] It looks like a summoning circle.
[165.5s] We'll post a picture later.
[167.5s] But it's actually to play marbles.
[170.1s] Oh, that's fun.
[170.9s] Because when you have three living rooms.
[173.9s] One of them becomes the marble chamber.
[178.3s] I should move to Edmonton.
[179.6s] There's just space, hey?
[183.4s] Yep.
[184.1s] You can have a whole room for marbles.
[186.3s] A whole marble room.
[187.6s] But also when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[190.3s] Like today's patron, Blaine Covert.
[193.6s] Thanks, Blaine.
[194.3s] Thanks, Blaine.
[194.9s] Blaine, you're amazing.
[195.5s] Thank you so much.
[196.4s] Thank you so much.
[197.3s] We appreciate you.
[198.3s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[201.4s] And now, fuck it, let's play D&D.
[207.6s] Moot, you have been in the fallen tower for a little while now.
[212.6s] And hanging out with Gabriel, what have you guys been talking about?
[217.5s] Is it easier to do like ice magic?
[221.9s] Because it seems to be everything that I'm kind of like,
[224.7s] that's the one I can feel the most right now.
[227.9s] Sometimes you can feel all of the elements,
[229.8s] but you seem to be very focused on like the water ice aspect,
[234.8s] which is which is totally fine.
[237.6s] As you get more in touch with your ability,
[241.0s] that might expand to more other things.
[243.9s] Fire, earth, wind.
[248.7s] What about heart?
[250.9s] Could be heart.
[251.9s] Could be heart.
[253.1s] Maybe mind.
[255.0s] Okay.
[255.7s] Yeah, I mean, I feel like those other ones are there.
[260.8s] They're just not within reach like the ice is.
[264.7s] Cool.
[265.2s] I'm going to try something.
[266.3s] Hey, can you pass me that thing way over there
[268.7s] on the counter without standing up?
[273.5s] No.
[274.5s] Yeah, but try.
[277.1s] Oh, oh, okay.
[278.6s] Okay, so Moot kind of looks real hard at,
[284.3s] I'm assuming it's another tankard of ale.
[289.1s] What a wild guess.
[290.9s] Right?
[293.9s] Am I able to like reach out and grab this with my mind, Russ?
[297.3s] With my mage hand?
[298.7s] Yeah, yeah, let's say you do.
[301.5s] Yeah, so Moot has the necklace around his wrist still,
[304.8s] and he kind of is just like rubbing one of the feathers
[310.6s] as he's looking at this tankard,
[312.4s] and it slowly kind of starts to shake and lift off the ground ever so slightly.
[318.5s] You see kind of a faint Glimer of a hand.
[322.9s] What does the hand look like?
[324.7s] Can it look like anything?
[326.9s] I didn't look too closely at the spell.
[329.2s] Yeah, I mean, it's a manifestation of your own sort.
[335.5s] It's a hand Patronus.
[336.8s] It can have any description that you so desire.
[341.4s] Okay, it looks like more of a claw than a hand.
[347.5s] Okay, what kind of claw are we thinking?
[351.0s] Just for painting that word picture.
[353.4s] I mean, Moot always liked the ocean, so it looks like a crab claw.
[359.4s] Cool, yeah, I like that.
[361.0s] You see a faint image of a crab claw,
[362.9s] and you see Gabriel kind of lean back in his chair as this happens.
[366.9s] This is going to be interesting,
[368.7s] and it like pincers onto the handle.
[371.5s] He says, if you drop it, I'm going to wreck something of yours.
[377.5s] And just as it's lifting, it kind of drops back to the table
[381.3s] and kind of like shakes and like a little bit splashes out.
[385.8s] That was a close one there, bud.
[387.9s] You can do it.
[390.3s] I don't know if a crab claw is going to help you
[393.0s] when you really need it, though.
[395.7s] Not trying to hush your crab buzz, but...
[399.1s] No, that's...
[403.2s] That's the first thing that came to mind.
[404.6s] What would you recommend?
[406.9s] He looks at his hand, and he says,
[412.7s] What do you use to pick things up with?
[417.9s] I know why he drinks so much now.
[420.7s] Are all his students like this?
[422.7s] Poor guy.
[423.7s] I would have to assume so.
[427.8s] I'm sorry, you want me to explain a hand to you?
[431.1s] Okay, I need a minute.
[432.9s] Not trying to tell you how to do your job there, Moot, but...
[436.6s] But I mean, you're the teacher.
[437.9s] That's your job is to tell me how to do my job.
[442.0s] He casts Mage Hand, and tell me something that might be in your pocket.
[448.7s] Notepad.
[449.4s] Oh yeah, perfect.
[450.3s] You see him kind of wave his hand, and down beside you,
[455.7s] a spectral hand kind of floats down with your notepad in it,
[461.9s] and it's a large gloved hand, comically large fingers,
[466.5s] and he says,
[467.9s] Something that can hold things, my friend.
[471.6s] Picture something that can hold things.
[474.0s] I mean, that does seem more useful than a crab claw.
[480.5s] You win this round, Gabriel.
[481.9s] The hand is just waving a notebook in your face at this point.
[485.7s] Slapping.
[486.2s] You're going to snatch it from the hand.
[488.7s] It releases and then disperses.
[491.4s] At that moment, the door opens, and you see Glim walk in.
[496.3s] What does Glim look like as she's walking in,
[499.1s] coming from the scenario she just came from?
[502.3s] I don't think, yeah, she's like,
[505.2s] that was all just like a curious incident, right?
[508.8s] So what she really wants to do is get back to her room
[512.3s] so she can look at what this book is,
[514.4s] because to her, much as she values education,
[518.7s] book, not precious send out the guards kind of thing.
[524.2s] Sure.
[525.2s] So she's walking pretty briskly to get where she's going,
[529.3s] rather than stopping.
[530.7s] She also has already had food, and then also nachos,
[533.8s] and then several beers,
[534.9s] so probably doesn't need any more snacks.
[537.3s] But notices Moot, yeah?
[540.5s] Yep.
[540.9s] Kate?
[541.5s] Then I'm going to wave, maybe come over, probably.
[545.4s] I guess it depends how Moot looks when I wave.
[548.4s] I would think he'd be excited to see her again.
[550.4s] Kate?
[551.0s] Well, then in that case-
[551.7s] If there was a wave back-
[552.8s] I would come over.
[555.4s] Hi, you're here.
[558.2s] This must be your teacher.
[559.2s] Is this your teacher?
[561.2s] Yeah, this is Gabriel.
[564.8s] I'm sorry for him.
[568.0s] Okay, hi, Gabriel.
[570.0s] I'm Glim, and I hold out my hand.
[572.9s] He stands up and shakes your hand and says,
[576.4s] pleasure to meet you.
[578.0s] Glim, was it?
[579.4s] Glim, yeah, Glim.
[582.9s] Sorry, go ahead.
[583.7s] No, you go ahead.
[585.3s] Teachers first.
[586.2s] I think it's the same.
[587.7s] I was just teaching Moot here
[589.2s] a valuable lesson in how to hold things.
[593.1s] Oh.
[593.7s] It was harder than it sounds.
[596.3s] So are your studies going well, then?
[601.8s] I thought they were.
[603.2s] Now I'm not so sure.
[604.4s] Tell me, Glim, when you reach out for something
[609.5s] to pick it up and you have your eyes closed,
[611.9s] what do you picture is picking that thing up?
[615.3s] Oh, well, I guess a hand like mine
[617.5s] with like the three claws and the thumb
[619.7s] and, you know, just the-
[621.5s] So not a crab claw.
[623.5s] Oh, no.
[624.8s] Were we doing like an ocean theme?
[627.2s] I didn't know.
[628.5s] It maybe would be a crab claw then
[630.4s] or maybe some kind of like cephalopod suction cup.
[634.8s] I don't know.
[635.5s] Could have been something fun
[636.4s] if we were going whimsical.
[638.6s] You two are perfect for each other.
[640.1s] I'm going to go get my drink.
[641.8s] That Sir Moot here was unable to deliver.
[645.3s] I shall return, Moot.
[647.4s] And he walks off to the bar.
[650.9s] So things went well today?
[655.2s] I think so.
[656.6s] I mean, he showed me-
[658.3s] Well, I don't know if he even really showed me,
[660.0s] but he helped me do some magic.
[662.8s] Well, that's good.
[663.6s] Yeah.
[664.0s] And then, yeah, then he made a lot of fun of me
[667.1s] in that last part.
[668.0s] So that was less good.
[669.6s] Right.
[670.0s] Just one of those kind of teachers, hey?
[672.2s] Yeah.
[672.7s] I mean, well, I kind of spilled a beer of his earlier
[675.6s] and I think it just put him in a bad mood.
[677.4s] Oh, I would suspect, having just met the man,
[681.1s] that maybe he holds his beers very precious.
[685.1s] Yeah.
[685.6s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[686.8s] Um, yeah, it's a bit of a problem, I think.
[690.4s] Yeah.
[691.2s] Yeah, I could see how that might be a problem.
[693.8s] But do you think-
[695.2s] You look over and he already has two empty containers
[698.6s] in front of him.
[700.1s] Yeah, that tracks.
[702.1s] See, I told you it's a problem.
[703.6s] Yeah, wow.
[705.2s] Oh, I'm so rude.
[706.6s] What did you get up to today?
[708.5s] Oh, you know, this and that.
[710.3s] A weird thing just happened, though.
[713.1s] Oh.
[713.4s] I was over at another tavern across town
[717.1s] and I was about to go in
[719.4s] and I saw this little halfling fella
[722.5s] and he was looking kind of, um, I don't know, shifty?
[730.0s] Oh, okay.
[731.2s] And then there was guards.
[733.9s] Seemed like maybe they were looking for someone,
[736.1s] but I'm looking for a halfling.
[738.8s] So I thought, well, maybe this is a nice guy.
[742.2s] Anyway, we went in, we had a drink,
[744.8s] we had some nachos, he seemed really great,
[747.0s] but then the guards took him away.
[749.1s] They think he stole something from Castle Never.
[751.8s] Oh, so he was the one they were looking for.
[754.5s] It looks that way.
[755.6s] I don't know, he seemed pretty great to me,
[757.5s] but I'm not sure.
[759.5s] It's very strange, but, you know, kind of fun.
[762.1s] It's sort of what you want to happen
[763.3s] in the big city, to be honest with you.
[765.3s] I guess, yeah, it's, you know,
[766.7s] a little bit of everything happening, apparently.
[768.6s] Yeah, a little bit of adventure.
[769.9s] Oh.
[770.8s] Well, I mean, I just did some magic all day.
[773.4s] That sounds way more fun.
[775.0s] Um, I mean, doing magic all day
[776.8s] sounds pretty incredible.
[778.5s] What can you, what did you do?
[781.1s] Do you, is that rude?
[782.2s] I'm sorry, is that a rude thing to ask?
[783.9s] No, no, no, not at all.
[785.4s] Um, it was a lot of, like,
[787.5s] it seems to be easy for me to do, like, ice magic?
[793.2s] Oh, cool.
[797.6s] Get it cool, because.
[799.2s] No, no, no, no, I got it.
[800.4s] I liked it.
[804.9s] I would, I would show you something,
[806.8s] but I don't want to break anything
[810.2s] or hurt anyone in here.
[811.4s] I'm not super good with it yet.
[813.6s] Right, I mean, I'm staying here,
[815.1s] so I also would prefer you didn't break anything
[817.3s] or hurt anyone.
[819.7s] Do you think that you're going to
[823.1s] do more magic with Gabriel tomorrow?
[825.1s] I would think so.
[825.9s] He said that he thinks, you know,
[829.2s] getting off to a good start sort of thing,
[830.8s] but I would think there's still probably a lot to learn.
[833.0s] So yeah, we were down by the river earlier doing the magic.
[837.2s] So maybe if you want to find us tomorrow,
[839.2s] you can come down there and I can show you.
[841.8s] Ooh, that sounds really fun.
[844.0s] OK, well, I'm getting pretty sleepy,
[849.9s] so I'm going to I'm going to head to bed,
[851.5s] but it was really good to see you again
[853.1s] and maybe I'll come see you do some magic tomorrow.
[856.4s] Very cool.
[857.1s] Well, have a great night, Glim.
[860.6s] Glim, you head up to your to your room
[865.1s] and you make it there and close the door behind you.
[870.0s] And then I like pull out that book
[872.5s] and start looking at it to see what this precious book is,
[876.6s] because it looked pretty normal from the outside, right?
[879.1s] I mean, it's not bejeweled or anything.
[881.8s] No, it's actually bedazzled.
[883.3s] It's a red leather book.
[886.3s] It has a symbol on it with a monocle
[889.2s] on a chain with fire beneath it.
[892.5s] And you open the book.
[894.4s] The writing in it is illegible to you.
[898.7s] It does not look like any language that you understand.
[905.6s] So it's not necessarily illegible.
[908.4s] It's just like unintelligible to me because I can't read it.
[911.8s] Yes, that was probably a better word to use.
[914.0s] But yes, you get like their penmanship is super sloppy.
[917.8s] Scroll down.
[918.6s] Did Russ write this?
[921.7s] In fact, it is.
[922.6s] It is my writing.
[923.5s] No, but no, it is a language you don't understand.
[926.1s] So it's not illegible.
[927.2s] It's just you can't understand it.
[928.9s] You can't read it.
[931.6s] I mean, that's not going to stop me from looking through it
[934.0s] for like the next half an hour, to be honest,
[936.7s] to see if I can like puzzle anything out.
[938.6s] Maybe there's like numbers or something,
[940.5s] because that would be a more universal language.
[942.9s] But I'm just, that'll be my bedtime reading.
[946.0s] All right.
[946.6s] You continue to read.
[947.6s] And we cut back to Ms. Mam-Meow-Meow's office.
[950.3s] The two guards walk through the door carrying you and say,
[954.6s] well, we found them and plunky down in a chair
[958.0s] as she spins her chair back around and says,
[961.1s] you were supposed to bring me something.
[964.2s] Ms. Mam-Meow-Meow.
[967.6s] I had it.
[970.8s] These a-holes, busting in, ruining my cover,
[976.6s] making me freak out, right?
[979.1s] I was just refueling.
[981.2s] Pretty sure we came in pretty quiet, actually.
[985.1s] The fact that you came in at all set me on edge,
[989.0s] thinking I've been caught.
[991.2s] So what do I do?
[993.1s] Do I just give the ledger back?
[996.8s] All of that hard work,
[997.7s] you don't get nothing, I get thrown back in jail.
[1000.8s] So where's the ledger now?
[1002.8s] It's hidden.
[1004.5s] Where?
[1006.5s] In a bathroom.
[1010.8s] She has a very perpLexed face.
[1013.3s] Why would you hide it in a bathroom?
[1016.4s] Please, you're in a tavern.
[1017.5s] Where else are you going to hide stuff?
[1021.3s] It's too big for what you're thinking, sir.
[1023.6s] And I look back at the other guard and I'm like,
[1027.5s] well, anyway, I would have had it back here lickety split
[1031.5s] had these dudes not shown up.
[1033.8s] Yeah, but they said they found you in a tavern
[1036.1s] in the opposite direction.
[1037.6s] Refueling.
[1039.5s] I had to, I wasn't just going to head
[1041.8s] right back to the prison.
[1044.0s] Here, follow me right back holding this illegal item
[1048.1s] that I just stole from the castle
[1051.2s] right back to the person who asked me to go get it.
[1055.4s] That doesn't sound very smart.
[1056.8s] So no, no, to throw them off,
[1058.4s] I went in the opposite direction.
[1061.5s] Met a really nice doughy eyed gal.
[1064.9s] She bought me nachos.
[1066.8s] It was great because you didn't leave me with any money.
[1069.0s] Were they the eel nachos?
[1070.5s] They were the eel nachos.
[1071.9s] Very good.
[1072.5s] They were so good.
[1073.6s] Yep.
[1074.3s] So.
[1075.0s] Gruul's going to taste real bad after those.
[1077.8s] Yep.
[1078.5s] So these these a-holes bust in here.
[1081.9s] I panic.
[1083.1s] I stash the item.
[1086.0s] You could have had it by now.
[1088.5s] She looks to her guards.
[1089.6s] She's like, go, go get the item.
[1092.3s] Go get the book.
[1094.5s] Well, there might be just one small problem.
[1100.7s] See, I had to Jimmy make a waterproof case for it.
[1108.7s] Where did you put it?
[1109.9s] The sink.
[1111.4s] Why?
[1112.7s] Because you don't understand
[1115.9s] this bathroom didn't have very many options, okay?
[1119.6s] Anyway, that doughy eyed gal I told you about,
[1122.3s] who bought me the nachos?
[1125.2s] I think she has.
[1126.4s] Because I knew, left for a really long time,
[1129.7s] that book would be useless to everybody.
[1132.4s] All waterlogged.
[1133.5s] It would have been absolutely destroyed.
[1135.0s] Any information in it.
[1136.0s] So I wanted her to get it out of that water quick.
[1138.4s] She's staying at the Fallen Tower.
[1141.8s] Tavern?
[1143.8s] The Fallen Tower.
[1144.8s] Sure.
[1145.3s] Yeah, that's the one.
[1146.5s] Anyway, she's super nice.
[1152.1s] She's got your thing.
[1154.6s] One of you go check the bar.
[1157.4s] One of you go to the Fallen Tower.
[1160.6s] And find me the book.
[1162.7s] Oh hey, be nice to her though.
[1164.0s] She's super nice.
[1166.1s] She asks a lot of questions, the guard says.
[1171.2s] If that's the one you're talking about.
[1173.2s] Oh yeah, she's never been anywhere, apparently.
[1176.8s] Poor girl hasn't traveled at all.
[1178.7s] So go easy on her.
[1180.5s] The two guards leave with their instructions.
[1184.8s] And Miss Man Miao Miao.
[1186.8s] Well, until that book comes back,
[1188.8s] it appears we have no deal.
[1190.6s] So you're going to be staying here until,
[1192.9s] at the very least, the book comes back.
[1195.3s] Okay, yes, that makes sense.
[1197.6s] Rules is rules.
[1199.6s] However, remember Merv?
[1203.2s] Yes, where is your good friend Merv,
[1205.2s] who had all of the information that you needed
[1208.0s] in order to carry out this plan?
[1212.0s] That motherfucker got pulled through a portal.
[1214.9s] Well, this is how shit went sideways.
[1220.1s] Listen, hear me out.
[1221.6s] Okay.
[1222.4s] We're in Neverwinter Ever's chamber.
[1226.5s] Castle Never.
[1227.2s] Yeah, whatever.
[1229.6s] Lord Neverember keeps his stuff pretty clean.
[1234.0s] It's nice.
[1235.0s] I find the book, right?
[1236.7s] As I do, boom, portal opens up out of nowhere.
[1241.0s] Shit's flying everywhere.
[1243.2s] Two, two guys, maybe three, probably ten.
[1246.4s] Ten guys come out, right, of this portal.
[1249.7s] I'm fighting them back.
[1251.6s] I'm, I'm kicking ass, really.
[1254.0s] I'm just like roundhouse kicks
[1256.2s] and then I'm sending those assholes
[1258.4s] back to where they came from.
[1260.7s] In the midst of all this, though,
[1262.4s] and these shenanigans,
[1263.5s] one of them takes Merv right back through the portal.
[1268.3s] It's one less prisoner I have to feed, I guess.
[1270.7s] Whoa, cold.
[1272.0s] Miss, ma'am, kitty, meow, meow, that's cold.
[1278.4s] Sully, I hope the book is where you say the book is.
[1284.7s] I don't lie.
[1287.8s] I'm not gonna lie right now.
[1289.1s] That's, that's to be determined.
[1290.8s] Yeah, fair enough, fair enough.
[1292.8s] You two sit staring at each other.
[1295.2s] Wanna play cards?
[1296.4s] Cold silence.
[1297.7s] Oh.
[1301.6s] As we cut back to the Fallen Tower.
[1308.0s] It's getting later at this point.
[1310.2s] Would you still be there?
[1312.4s] Um, it depends.
[1314.6s] Is Gabriel still worth a conversation
[1316.8s] or is he gone past the point of no return?
[1319.6s] He's kind of at the same spot when you first met him.
[1323.0s] Oh, yeah, I would have left a long time ago then.
[1325.2s] Okay, then you're not there.
[1326.6s] Glim, you're in your room
[1327.9s] flipping through this book that you can't read.
[1329.9s] Mm-hmm.
[1331.4s] And you hear heavy armored footsteps
[1334.3s] coming up the stairs to your room.
[1338.0s] You hear them walking down the hall.
[1340.3s] Okay, I'll like slide the book, I don't know,
[1342.9s] like under the mattress with my porn mags
[1346.5s] that I immediately put there when I got here.
[1349.6s] My porn etchings, like I don't know what's,
[1353.3s] I put it under the mattress.
[1354.6s] Yes.
[1358.5s] Hi, it's really late.
[1360.0s] You see three guards,
[1361.2s] but the one right in front is the one
[1362.7s] you were questioning on what this item could be.
[1366.0s] Right.
[1366.4s] And he looks down at you and kind of sighs a little bit
[1370.0s] but then says to his other friends, search the room.
[1373.6s] Wait, how tall is he that he's looking down on her?
[1375.7s] Yeah, I'm 6'5".
[1378.9s] I forgot.
[1380.1s] He's looking slightly up at you.
[1384.0s] Yep, he's a tall gentleman himself.
[1387.4s] I'm going to like put my arm across the door like,
[1391.4s] what do you mean search the room?
[1393.7s] This is my room, I haven't done anything wrong.
[1396.2s] Who are you?
[1397.4s] We have reason to believe that the fellow
[1401.3s] who was escorted from the previous tavern
[1404.8s] you were in this evening, Miss,
[1408.0s] might have left something with you.
[1412.0s] The alleged linenist.
[1414.1s] The alleged linenist, that's him, yes.
[1416.7s] And by what authority are you searching my room?
[1419.6s] Who are you?
[1420.7s] I am the head of the Neverwinter Guard.
[1427.5s] Well, I'm not, I'm an upstanding citizen,
[1432.2s] so I guess search my room.
[1435.7s] The two other guards walk in and begin,
[1439.5s] uh, there's not a lot of things in your room,
[1441.7s] but they begin more or less tossing everything.
[1446.8s] Hey, I mean, you could do that a bit.
[1450.1s] There's no need to be destructive about it,
[1452.8s] is there?
[1453.2s] In fact, it doesn't even make sense.
[1455.0s] You just move a bunch of stuff to one spot,
[1457.1s] it's making it harder to search the room.
[1459.7s] They're professionals.
[1462.4s] They search for a few minutes.
[1465.6s] One of them tosses over the bed
[1467.6s] and finds your porn mags, as well as the book.
[1474.5s] It says, we got it.
[1477.0s] I mean, you can just get that stuff anywhere.
[1478.8s] You don't need to come here and take mine from my room.
[1481.6s] It's, I mean, it explains me what these porn mags look like.
[1486.0s] Let's say, yeah, I would have sex positive right now, that glim is.
[1489.4s] This is good.
[1490.0s] She's unabashed.
[1491.2s] We've already described what bathrooms look like in this world.
[1494.0s] Now it's time to describe what porn magazines look like.
[1496.4s] I'm very interested.
[1497.6s] Yeah, I mean, I guess just like very realistic sketches in like scrolls.
[1505.3s] No, they can't be scrolls.
[1506.6s] They could be like, I mean, there's books in this world,
[1509.1s] so they would be like pamphlet.
[1514.7s] The guard says, do what you want with the porn guys,
[1517.4s] but we need the book.
[1519.1s] And you're going to have to come with us, miss.
[1522.7s] It's glim.
[1524.3s] Glim.
[1525.4s] Okay.
[1526.8s] I mean, I'm a rule follower.
[1528.1s] I'll go with them.
[1529.3s] They escort you down and through the tavern
[1531.7s] and you draw some attention as you're being walked out.
[1534.6s] They don't handcuff you or anything,
[1537.3s] but you're clearly being escorted out.
[1540.5s] And unless you want to discuss anything in particular with them.
[1548.0s] I'm sure I do, but you probably don't need it for this podcast
[1550.9s] as I just pepper them with inane questions.
[1554.1s] That's fair.
[1555.0s] You find yourself at the prison and they put you into a cell.
[1561.0s] They lock the cell door and leave through the door in which you came in,
[1566.1s] close it and you look across and you see Sully in the chamber across from you.
[1572.1s] Ah, crap.
[1574.9s] Yeah.
[1577.0s] I didn't think I'd end up here after talking to you.
[1581.4s] You wanted the full city experience though, didn't you?
[1585.8s] How many people get to say they got thrown in the clink?
[1592.8s] Well, Sully, you're right.
[1594.6s] I have in all the places I've never been.
[1597.3s] I have also never been to prison.
[1600.9s] Well, you don't need to brag.
[1605.6s] But you know what?
[1606.5s] You're not in any trouble.
[1607.7s] You're gonna be fine.
[1611.5s] Well, I mean, I tried.
[1613.4s] I tried.
[1614.0s] I found the book.
[1615.1s] Awesome.
[1616.2s] I mean, which means they have the book now.
[1619.5s] Yeah, that's bad because I mean like leverage and stuff.
[1622.9s] Yeah.
[1623.3s] I mean, what can you do?
[1626.3s] Did you do you know what that book is?
[1629.7s] Yeah, it's a ledger.
[1631.3s] Did you open it?
[1633.1s] No, didn't have time.
[1635.5s] Huh, it's in some language that I don't speak or read.
[1640.4s] I couldn't even understand it.
[1641.6s] There didn't seem to be any numbers,
[1643.3s] which would be weird for a ledger.
[1645.7s] But well, we may never know.
[1652.1s] You don't need good songs.
[1654.0s] I mean, nothing's coming to mind.
[1655.5s] What do you got?
[1657.0s] I don't have much, but I have these two spoons.
[1659.1s] I could play you some spoons.
[1662.4s] I mean, that sounds nice.
[1663.6s] I love the sound of spoons as I try to drift off to sleep in prison.
[1667.3s] Well, you know, like I'm clacking them against my knee, right?
[1669.8s] I'm actually very fairly talented at it.
[1674.9s] The sound of spoons carries through the windows out into the streets
[1680.7s] as you remain in your cells for the rest of the night.
[1693.7s] Welcome to the middle.
[1699.3s] We're so glad you're here.
[1704.5s] Yep.
[1705.7s] Oh, come on.
[1708.6s] This is the part where we say how much we appreciate you
[1711.3s] and you beat you for being here
[1714.5s] and how awesome you are and how much we love you.
[1717.1s] All of those things.
[1718.5s] We are also very delighted when you do things for us.
[1722.0s] Some of those things include rating and reviewing the show.
[1725.1s] I mean, not just our show.
[1726.3s] If you rate and review any of your favorite podcasts,
[1728.3s] that's a bonus thing and podcasters really appreciate it
[1731.3s] because maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't,
[1733.5s] but it certainly makes us feel good for putting out
[1736.7s] for putting out a thing that you enjoy.
[1738.7s] So if you can, if you haven't done so already
[1741.6s] and if you can, we'd really appreciate a rating and review
[1744.2s] on either iTunes or Stitcher or anywhere else
[1748.1s] that you can leave reviews.
[1750.5s] May I read one?
[1751.3s] You may.
[1751.9s] All right.
[1752.5s] This one is from Apple Podcasts.
[1756.5s] It says, awesome D&D podcast, five stars.
[1759.3s] These D&D freaks are super funny
[1762.0s] and really make you feel like you're there having fun with them.
[1765.5s] Great work.
[1766.6s] Download this.
[1767.8s] And the naked dwarf has to be my favorite.
[1770.6s] Go Tom Go.
[1772.1s] That's from Jimmy Bo Bob Brain.
[1774.8s] This is from Joe Holland on Podcast Republic.
[1779.1s] Awesome actual play podcast.
[1781.1s] Russ is an excellent DM.
[1782.8s] True.
[1783.5s] Amy is funny as hell.
[1785.0s] True.
[1785.8s] Tom is a great player.
[1787.5s] True.
[1788.2s] And Carla is kind and friendly.
[1791.1s] Like being around the table with friends.
[1792.8s] The show is a wonderful mix of combat, rules, and RP.
[1796.3s] You doinks.
[1798.8s] Awesome.
[1799.6s] This one's from Apple Podcasts.
[1801.3s] And it says, lovely, five stars.
[1804.9s] I'm finally caught up.
[1806.1s] So now I'm impatient to hear what's next.
[1808.5s] 80 episodes in a month is just not enough of these lovelies.
[1811.3s] I get my fill with D&D, dick jokes, and darlings in one pod.
[1815.1s] Smiley face.
[1816.2s] Thank you.
[1816.9s] And that's from LLTMSFanboy417.
[1820.9s] And this last one is from William Rhino Henderson from Facebook.
[1823.9s] And he writes, hilarious story of an elf, human, and dwarf trio
[1827.7s] steadying their way towards saving the world.
[1830.3s] Give them a listen.
[1831.1s] Hilarity and dick jokes abound as Flint, Thea, and Nulara figure out just who they are
[1836.2s] and what they're made of when it comes to saving all of Faerun.
[1840.6s] That's a better way to write the synopsis of our podcast.
[1843.8s] I mean, really, maybe we please use that.
[1847.2s] Gonna swap that right away.
[1849.4s] Thank you so much.
[1850.5s] But thank you all for those who have reviewed.
[1852.9s] We have some other reviews that we'll get to next time we talk about reviews.
[1856.1s] So thank you all.
[1856.9s] And if you can, please do so on the places that allow you to do so.
[1861.5s] Thank you.
[1861.9s] Now, back to the episode.
[1864.7s] The end of time and other bothers.
[1868.1s] An improvised fantasy role-playing podcast set in the world of Alba Salix.
[1873.2s] The world has still ended.
[1874.9s] You guys see how pretty it is outside, though?
[1876.7s] So you give presentations of some kind.
[1879.6s] This extremely devastating explosion was, in fact, a celebration.
[1883.7s] And you, my good lady, ladle cheap foodstuffs out to people.
[1887.8s] All right, Faerie, Demon, sit down and shut up.
[1891.8s] Thank heavens.
[1893.0s] We three have been chosen to be the saviors of the entire multiverse.
[1897.8s] Do you see that Minotaur sitting out in the food court?
[1900.1s] What Minotaur?
[1900.9s] He was right there.
[1902.1s] There were some zombies, but Black blew them up.
[1904.1s] I climbed a tree.
[1905.1s] And we're skipping ahead.
[1906.5s] And we're skipping ahead.
[1907.4s] Oh, yeah, no, OK.
[1908.5s] Three normal dweebs thrown back in time to an era of magic.
[1912.2s] What is this place?
[1914.6s] And sent on an adventure more absurd than they ever could have imagined.
[1918.5s] Egerton, you didn't even need a Faerie cake.
[1920.3s] Why did you eat a Faerie cake?
[1921.6s] Because I stress eat sometimes.
[1924.9s] That's the end of Time and Other Bothers from the makers of Albus Salix Royal Physician.
[1930.1s] Listen and subscribe at otherbothers.com
[1932.8s] or search for Other Bothers in your favorite podcast app.
[1936.1s] Do I get to keep all of my body parts?
[1939.1s] Not if I have any say in it.
[1946.5s] It's the next day.
[1948.3s] Moot, you wake up at Nogwood's.
[1951.2s] I'm going to head out ASAP over to the Fallen Tower
[1956.8s] and see if I can invite Glim over to watch me do some magic.
[1963.6s] So you walk to the Fallen Tower and you walk in and you don't see Glim right away.
[1969.6s] How long do you wait around?
[1972.5s] A few minutes and then I go ask like a barkeep
[1977.1s] if maybe Glim's been around this morning.
[1979.8s] Yeah, there's one barkeep that you have previously met, Barlick.
[1987.3s] Barlick, I'm looking for my friend Glim, Dragonborn.
[1992.1s] Have you seen her?
[1995.3s] I heard she got escorted out there last night by the police, the Old Town Guard.
[2004.2s] Wait, was she like marched out or was she going willingly?
[2011.4s] It appeared she was going willingly, but there were three guards
[2014.8s] and they were clearly escorting her off to probably jail.
[2020.9s] It is usually where they take people.
[2024.1s] Okay, yeah.
[2027.3s] If Gabriel shows up, tell him I'll be there.
[2029.1s] I'll be a little bit late, but I will be back.
[2032.0s] He loves it when people are late, but they'll be back.
[2034.9s] I will be the one to bring him that such good news.
[2039.0s] You know what?
[2039.3s] I'm going to pour this right away just in case.
[2041.8s] Yeah, just have it ready and waiting.
[2043.6s] That'd be great.
[2044.3s] Yeah, will do.
[2046.7s] I'm going to book it over towards the jail.
[2049.6s] You know where it is because you heard someone yelling out of the jail.
[2053.3s] So you make it to the jail.
[2055.6s] So when I walked past the jail before, when I overheard,
[2060.9s] it was like what?
[2061.7s] A floor up?
[2063.7s] A couple floors up?
[2064.7s] No, it was a floor up.
[2066.4s] All right, so I'm going to go stand kind of under that window.
[2071.8s] Okay.
[2072.5s] Sort of thing and just kind of...
[2075.8s] Glim?
[2077.7s] Are you up there?
[2079.2s] Hey, what's up?
[2082.3s] Glim?
[2084.8s] No.
[2088.3s] Oh.
[2088.9s] God?
[2091.8s] No.
[2092.8s] No, it's...
[2094.0s] It's Mee Moot.
[2096.5s] Mee Moot.
[2098.6s] Hey, hey, dragon lady.
[2102.1s] Do you know a Mee Moot?
[2105.1s] I know a Moot.
[2106.7s] He's a...
[2108.9s] I just met him.
[2110.9s] Yeah.
[2112.1s] Why?
[2113.0s] Who are you talking to?
[2114.8s] I don't know.
[2115.2s] There's just sounds coming through the window.
[2117.4s] Someone's yelling, Mee Moot.
[2118.6s] I just...
[2119.1s] I don't know.
[2119.7s] But like if this guy's...
[2121.2s] Okay, hold on.
[2122.8s] I'm sorry, what's your name?
[2125.3s] Moot.
[2126.5s] Moot.
[2128.4s] Okay.
[2129.5s] Yeah, Moot.
[2130.4s] He's my friend.
[2131.1s] I know him.
[2131.8s] You...
[2132.3s] Oh.
[2133.2s] Maybe, I guess, can you tell him that I'm in here?
[2137.4s] Sure.
[2138.1s] Hey, Mee Moot.
[2140.5s] Yeah.
[2141.6s] Yeah, the dragon lady is in here.
[2143.8s] Glim.
[2145.4s] Oh, Glim.
[2146.2s] Glim's in here.
[2148.3s] Is everyone okay?
[2149.3s] Is she okay?
[2150.5s] Moot, it's jail, so I'm gonna let you put two and two together there, buddy.
[2156.3s] He's not very smart, is he?
[2158.7s] Uh, okay.
[2161.4s] Why is she in jail?
[2163.3s] Oh, that would be my fault.
[2165.7s] Yeah, I'd take full responsibility for that.
[2168.0s] Hey, you have any special skills?
[2170.5s] I can do magic stuff.
[2174.5s] Oh, that's good.
[2176.5s] Can you whip us up a portal?
[2180.7s] Uh, oh, that's...
[2183.0s] No, that's a little bit too advanced for me.
[2185.7s] Can you blow this place apart?
[2189.7s] Again, I probably can't.
[2191.7s] Ah, got me Moot.
[2193.0s] What can you do?
[2195.2s] Uh, I don't know.
[2196.8s] I just usually make things really cold,
[2198.6s] but I don't think that's gonna help much.
[2201.6s] Well, it's jail.
[2203.4s] It's kind of damp already.
[2204.9s] I do have a chill.
[2206.0s] Glim, you cold?
[2207.8s] I mean, it's not warm in here.
[2210.1s] No, okay.
[2210.8s] So we're fine, you know, temperature-wise.
[2214.9s] We got cold under...
[2219.3s] Is there anything you can do?
[2222.0s] Uh, I don't know.
[2225.9s] Oh, yeah.
[2227.6s] Well, I can kind of pick things up with a magical hand and move them places.
[2234.5s] Is there anything you need?
[2235.5s] Maybe I can drop it through the window for you?
[2239.1s] Sure, that sounds like a real thing.
[2241.7s] That doesn't sound like a real thing.
[2244.0s] I mean, his teacher kind of indicated that this was a thing he could do
[2248.6s] because we had a whole conversation about what you use to pick things up.
[2253.3s] I'm sorry.
[2254.6s] You had a whole conversation surrounding what you use to pick things up?
[2259.6s] Well, in Moot's defense, he's very new to this magic thing.
[2262.7s] Okay, yeah, but is he new to picking stuff up?
[2267.1s] Well, I can't speak to that.
[2269.7s] We just met.
[2270.4s] I assume not.
[2271.8s] He seems like a healthy young guy.
[2275.4s] Okay.
[2276.5s] Do we need anything in here?
[2277.7s] He might be able to help.
[2279.9s] Like...
[2281.3s] What's gonna happen here?
[2283.7s] I've never, as I said, I'm not bragging, but I've never been in jail.
[2288.7s] Sounds like a brag to me, but okay.
[2290.6s] What should we...
[2291.3s] Humble brag.
[2292.1s] What should we...
[2292.9s] Hashtag blessed.
[2296.2s] I mean, now that you mention it, I am very blessed.
[2299.1s] Oh, my God.
[2300.5s] Okay, so here's what's gonna happen.
[2303.7s] They have what they want.
[2305.1s] They have us locked up.
[2307.8s] And that's pretty much just gonna stay that way because we've lost
[2311.5s] our whole leverage that we would have to keep us out of jail.
[2316.7s] Really sorry I got dragged into all this.
[2319.1s] That sucks.
[2319.7s] That's on me.
[2320.4s] That's on me.
[2321.0s] I owe you one.
[2322.5s] But maybe if Moo could like, I don't know, get us the keys.
[2326.3s] Oh, get me my thieves tools back from Miss Miamiao.
[2332.9s] Play the nachos would be good.
[2335.6s] Yeah, those eel ones were good, weren't they?
[2337.5s] They were good.
[2338.5s] You just hear like mumble conversation up above.
[2342.0s] What about, couldn't he...
[2344.7s] I don't know about thieves tools.
[2347.3s] Are they very personalized?
[2348.8s] Maybe he could find some different ones.
[2353.0s] Put them through the window.
[2354.6s] Or an explosive.
[2357.9s] Well, I mean, that seems more dangerous and maybe harder to find.
[2362.3s] I haven't been in the city long, so maybe not, but...
[2366.3s] Okay, well, sure.
[2368.2s] Hey, hey, me moot.
[2370.5s] It's just moot.
[2371.9s] Okay, just moot.
[2373.4s] Nope, moot.
[2374.1s] Just, just moot.
[2375.7s] That's what I said.
[2377.3s] Can you get us some, like, some thieves tools up over yonder window?
[2392.1s] What's a thieves tool?
[2393.7s] Like, what do you use?
[2395.5s] Well, it's not a tool.
[2396.9s] It's thieves tools.
[2398.5s] It's like a little pouch.
[2401.1s] It's got a bunch of knickety-knackety screwdrivers and stuff.
[2404.9s] I bet Gabriel will know.
[2406.6s] Oh, Glim says ask Gabriel.
[2409.8s] He'll know.
[2411.7s] Oh, okay, I'll...
[2412.9s] Yes, go ask a grown-up.
[2415.2s] That's always a good...
[2416.5s] Yeah, go get an adult.
[2418.8s] Me moot, get an adult.
[2419.9s] I'll ask Gabriel.
[2420.6s] I'll come back.
[2422.5s] Hang on.
[2423.5s] Neat.
[2424.1s] Hey, in the meantime, Glim, can you, like, feign sickness or injury?
[2429.5s] I'll yell for the guard.
[2430.6s] This is a classic one.
[2431.7s] It could work.
[2432.4s] One of us could end up being stabbed.
[2434.4s] Either way, it's like a real role.
[2435.9s] But you're super big.
[2436.9s] So, like, you fall over.
[2438.5s] I'm like, ah, guards, ah, guards.
[2440.8s] And then when they come in to check on you, you kill them.
[2445.0s] Or incapacitate them.
[2446.1s] It's totally up to you.
[2447.7s] And then we get their keys and get out.
[2449.4s] Moot, where do you go to find Gabriel?
[2456.9s] There's only one place to find Gabriel, my friend.
[2460.2s] You run back to the Fallen Tower.
[2462.0s] Come quickly, out of breath at this point, running through the door.
[2465.8s] And Gabriel is at the bar.
[2468.3s] And he has a drink in his hand.
[2470.6s] Moot, I appreciate the drink.
[2474.1s] Oh, you got the drink I left for you.
[2475.0s] Next time, pay for it.
[2480.4s] Well, I just.
[2482.4s] Yeah, I got my that friend of mine that you met last night.
[2487.3s] You know, Glim, you remember Glim?
[2489.3s] Very lovely.
[2490.1s] Very lovely.
[2490.5s] She knows how to pick things up.
[2492.9s] Yeah, actually, that's what I.
[2495.0s] Anyway, do you know where I could get like some thieves tools?
[2500.4s] Or is it I was told it was a set.
[2502.2s] Is it just the one tool?
[2503.7s] What do you want thieves tools for?
[2506.7s] To help Glim.
[2509.7s] Where is Glim?
[2511.5s] Jail.
[2513.8s] Why is Glim in jail?
[2515.8s] I don't know.
[2516.5s] I couldn't really talk to her, but this other person said it was their fault.
[2520.3s] I think it's all just a big misunderstanding.
[2524.1s] So if it is a misunderstanding, usually that is found out.
[2532.0s] And the people in charge of finding that out
[2535.7s] determine that she's innocent and she'll let her free.
[2538.5s] Now, if you get thieves.
[2540.9s] Wait, wait, if you get thieves tools, moot.
[2545.8s] Poor dear moot doesn't know how to pick things up.
[2550.4s] And you break out of jail.
[2553.2s] Even if you were innocent on the first count, you've now broken out of jail.
[2558.2s] And you're guilty on that charge.
[2560.3s] So your friend will actually be in trouble if you get the thieves tools.
[2565.4s] Oh, I guess I didn't stop to think about it that way.
[2569.3s] See, I'm just worried that it's like I'm worried because they took her there last
[2574.6s] night and she's still in jail this morning.
[2576.3s] So I'm thinking that maybe they're not so inclined to think it was a misunderstanding.
[2582.1s] So she's been in jail for less than six hours.
[2586.8s] Maybe eight.
[2587.9s] I kind of blacked out.
[2590.1s] You do that a lot.
[2591.3s] Could have been 10.
[2593.7s] And you think maybe they're not.
[2595.7s] I haven't even had a full guard rotation yet, moot.
[2600.2s] Well, I don't know when these things happen.
[2602.5s] That's fair.
[2603.4s] OK, I'm not going to tell you where to find these tools, moot.
[2609.2s] I don't want to get you in trouble.
[2611.7s] No, I mean, that makes a lot of sense the way that you put it.
[2614.9s] But how do like how can I help them?
[2617.7s] Well, glim mostly, but I'm sure that other person's nice, too.
[2621.8s] You know what you can do?
[2623.4s] You know what you can do is you can probably if you know she's in there,
[2628.3s] you said she didn't talk directly to her.
[2631.7s] If you know she's in there, maybe you can be a character witness for her.
[2638.6s] How well do you know this is glim?
[2641.4s] Well, not very.
[2642.4s] I mean, we both just kind of got to town, but she seems great.
[2647.8s] Well, she's a follower of Bahamut, so like that's got to be.
[2651.5s] That's got to count for something.
[2653.7s] People are always truthful.
[2657.0s] So what do you want to do in this instance, moot?
[2660.9s] I go practice magic or and wait for your friends to be your friend friends.
[2666.1s] I don't know how many people you're talking to in jail to be let out.
[2672.0s] You want to go find thieves tools and leave me here to drink.
[2678.7s] Well, I guess we could go.
[2679.7s] Go. How often do the guard rotations happen?
[2683.5s] Like, when was that?
[2684.4s] When is the next one ready to go?
[2686.3s] It's usually three in a day.
[2689.4s] OK, so sometime very soon then should be the next one.
[2693.6s] Sure. Yeah.
[2695.7s] OK, I think let's go practice magic for an hour or two.
[2700.4s] And then I'll go back to the jail.
[2702.1s] And if they're not out yet, I'll maybe go see if I can talk to the warden.
[2707.1s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[2708.8s] Miss Ma'am Meow Meow is the warden of the jail there.
[2712.9s] And Moot takes out his notebook and writes Miss Ma'am Meow Meow down on it.
[2720.9s] Good. Taking notes.
[2722.2s] All right. Get me a road pop and head out.
[2727.5s] I kind of moot waves at the bartender.
[2730.9s] One more.
[2735.4s] The door opens and a guard comes in.
[2739.1s] And he looks to both of you and says, Sully, let's go see Miss Ma'am Meow Meow.
[2749.2s] OK, awesome. Glim, Glam, M'lady, I'll be back, probably.
[2757.5s] He'll be back.
[2760.2s] Oh, OK. Good luck.
[2764.9s] You go through the routine, hands through the bars,
[2768.1s] cuffed.
[2769.8s] When I put my hands through the bars this time, I try to tickle him.
[2773.9s] He's not having any of it.
[2777.8s] He slaps them on in there much tighter than they were the previous time.
[2785.7s] And the door slides open and he escorts you out.
[2788.7s] You make it to Miss Ma'am Meow Meow's office and he sits you down in the chair.
[2792.9s] And she has the book on the table in front of her.
[2799.3s] The guard leaves.
[2801.2s] He says, well, we found the book.
[2803.4s] Thank goodness.
[2805.4s] Told you.
[2806.1s] Told you.
[2807.1s] Miss Ma'am Meow Meow.
[2811.0s] I wouldn't let you down.
[2812.1s] No, you wouldn't.
[2814.9s] But here's the thing, Sully.
[2818.3s] I don't know.
[2819.5s] I don't know if I can trust you.
[2821.9s] Trust me with what?
[2823.2s] With this information of obtaining the book for me.
[2827.9s] My God, what is it with this book?
[2830.6s] I don't care.
[2831.7s] I'm not even supposed to be in Neverwinter.
[2833.6s] How would I leave and never come back?
[2837.7s] I mean, in your own, in the way you've described your travels here,
[2844.4s] you don't even know how you got here.
[2846.5s] So how do I know that you'll leave and not come back unbeknownst to yourself?
[2851.7s] My God, if I do, I'll just keep leaving.
[2854.9s] I don't know what I can say.
[2856.1s] But I do know that the shiny dragonborn in the cell across from me
[2866.0s] for sure knows pretty much absolutely nothing about anything.
[2873.0s] Sweet girl.
[2874.2s] But she, too, has seen the book.
[2877.8s] Knows that you obtained it somehow, I presume.
[2883.7s] And knows that now is in the possession of the prison as well.
[2887.7s] So she, too, is in trouble.
[2890.3s] As far as she knows, you guys apprehended me because I stole something and you return it.
[2902.0s] Is that not how the justice system works?
[2907.2s] Justice system is shades of gray under Miss Man Meow Meow sometimes.
[2913.1s] It's very difficult to know.
[2914.8s] Listen, she's a sweet thing.
[2916.5s] She doesn't belong here.
[2918.4s] Keep me.
[2919.9s] Let her go.
[2920.6s] I appreciate what you're saying.
[2922.1s] I mean, I'm going to have to keep both of you, at least for a little while.
[2926.5s] Miss Man Meow Meow, come on, do me a solid.
[2929.3s] I lost my best friend Merv.
[2931.3s] You know what?
[2932.6s] Okay.
[2934.6s] Just because I feel so bad about Merv,
[2936.8s] we won't keep you here.
[2939.1s] You and your new friend, you can be transferred to another prison.
[2945.0s] Where?
[2945.7s] Elsewhere.
[2947.2s] Is that a town?
[2948.2s] Is that a nearby town?
[2950.9s] It's an extended branch of our organization here.
[2960.0s] How far is elsewhere?
[2961.2s] Because travel, you know.
[2962.3s] Quite a ways away.
[2963.6s] Oh, okay.
[2964.5s] Yes, I can't tell you exactly.
[2967.7s] Because I don't trust you.
[2968.8s] I don't trust you.
[2971.2s] All right.
[2971.6s] Well, I don't want to be a neverwinder.
[2974.8s] No offense.
[2975.8s] Don't want to see you again.
[2977.2s] I get it.
[2977.9s] I understand.
[2980.1s] Enjoy your book.
[2982.1s] I'll go tell Flynn the good news.
[2985.5s] Great.
[2987.0s] I hope she enjoys it as well.
[2990.5s] Let's go.
[2991.9s] I'm talking to the guard.
[2993.9s] Would you like, would you like me to call the guard
[2996.0s] or just want to talk to the guard that's non-existent?
[2998.1s] No, it's fine.
[2998.8s] You can, you can call him.
[2999.8s] Guard!
[3002.1s] Guard comes back in.
[3003.3s] Just let's go.
[3005.0s] That's what I said.
[3007.7s] He brings you back to your cell and locks you up and leaves the room.
[3012.2s] Hey, Glim, we're going to be transferred to a prison elsewhere.
[3019.5s] I mean, the air quotes make that seem very ominous.
[3023.3s] Yeah.
[3024.2s] Yeah, it's not good.
[3025.0s] I'm pretty sure they're thinking about killing us.
[3027.6s] But I do have a plan.
[3029.8s] Okay.
[3034.7s] Guard!
[3035.3s] Guard!
[3035.7s] Help!
[3036.2s] Ah!
[3037.0s] Help!
[3037.6s] I'm not going to kill anyone.
[3039.7s] This isn't for you.
[3040.9s] Okay.
[3041.7s] Ow!
[3042.1s] Oh, God!
[3043.1s] Guards, please!
[3044.5s] The door opens.
[3046.3s] I'm laying on the ground.
[3047.4s] Fetal position.
[3048.9s] Again, Sully?
[3050.5s] Can't, I just, my stomach.
[3055.2s] I was just in here.
[3056.4s] I know, it just came on so suddenly.
[3058.9s] It's probably a fart again.
[3063.5s] It can't be.
[3066.5s] If it still hurts in half an hour, call again.
[3071.7s] I'll take your silence as total agreement.
[3075.3s] He walks out.
[3076.0s] Hey, wait, excuse me.
[3078.8s] Yes.
[3079.6s] Is there, I mean, I really don't think I belong here.
[3083.8s] Could I, what can I do?
[3086.9s] Can I talk, is there someone in charge I can talk to?
[3089.6s] Yes, yes.
[3090.6s] I will, I will go request with the warden
[3095.3s] and see if she has some time to speak with you as quick as possible.
[3098.6s] I know, I know you.
[3100.5s] We don't want to put you out at all.
[3102.5s] Okay, I'd really appreciate it if I could speak to her.
[3106.0s] Of course.
[3107.3s] And he leaves the room, closes the door behind him.
[3112.0s] I get up and I look at her and I'm like,
[3114.8s] well, that plan didn't work.
[3117.0s] He was going to get close and I was going to bite him.
[3122.2s] Really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas here.
[3126.5s] We'll get out of this.
[3127.3s] It always works out.
[3128.4s] Moot, you make it back to the field.
[3138.4s] It's been on the outside of an hour, you know, an hour, hour and a half.
[3144.3s] And Gabriel's looking at you, he's like,
[3146.2s] Moot, you're not, you're not focused.
[3148.0s] Nothing's been really, like you've been, you've been able to do a few things,
[3151.0s] but nothing's been able, you haven't been able to focus very much today.
[3156.5s] No, my, my head, my head's not in the game.
[3159.4s] I'm worried about Glim in jail.
[3161.3s] It just, it just all seems wrong to me.
[3167.2s] All right, finishes the drink that's in his hand.
[3171.7s] Let's go talk to the warden.
[3176.0s] You go to the jail and in the front door.
[3181.2s] Are you leading the conversation?
[3182.3s] You want Gabriel to?
[3184.6s] Maybe Gabriel.
[3186.5s] He might know Miss Miam Miam Miao, Miss Miam Miao Miao a little bit.
[3191.5s] You act like that's hard to say or something.
[3196.1s] He goes up to the front desk booking area and says Miao Miao around.
[3206.7s] Like to just talk to her about some things that she might have in a cell.
[3212.4s] Well, the guard looks at Gabriel and says, she might be, she might be around.
[3219.0s] Let me just go check.
[3221.5s] The guard leaves and Gabriel turns to look at you and says, so
[3226.8s] do we just want to tell her that your friend Glim is all free and clear or
[3232.4s] what do we want to do here?
[3234.9s] I mean, yeah, your character witness idea seemed pretty good and
[3241.3s] I guess that's really all we have to go with right now.
[3244.9s] All right, the guard comes back in and says, yes, yes, Gabriel, come along.
[3252.2s] Your friend can come along too.
[3255.9s] You two are led back down a couple winding hallways and into a very lavish chamber
[3261.9s] and you see a very rotund fancily dressed tabaxi sitting at her desk and she says,
[3267.5s] oh, Gabriel, it's a pleasure to see you.
[3269.6s] Who is your new friend?
[3271.7s] He turns and looks at you and says, this is Moot.
[3275.1s] Don't ask him to hold anything for you.
[3278.6s] What a weird introduction.
[3281.7s] All right, what can I do for you to find gentlemen today?
[3289.0s] Well, Moot here has a request.
[3293.5s] He kind of nudges you.
[3294.5s] Yeah, I think you have a friend of mine locked up in your jail cell and I don't think she should be in there.
[3305.7s] Okay, your friend, who's your friend?
[3310.3s] Well, she's a Dragonborn follower of Bahamut named Glim.
[3315.6s] Yes, yes, there was a Dragonborn who was involved with a theft at Castle Never.
[3325.2s] I mean, surely she couldn't have been involved.
[3328.5s] She's a follower of the righteous god Bahamut.
[3334.8s] I understand what you're saying and my poor dear Moot, Moot it was, yes?
[3343.0s] Yeah.
[3344.8s] Some people, they spin lies in order to get what they want, what they desire.
[3355.1s] What did she want?
[3356.4s] Well, she was caught red handed with a very important ledger stolen from Castle Never.
[3362.6s] This ledger right here and she taps it on her on her desk and
[3366.3s] we're waiting for Lord Neverember to return in order to give it back to him directly.
[3373.7s] Well, I mean, I guess if you caught her red handed, that's pretty circumstantial evidence.
[3384.3s] It was underneath her mattress found with other things.
[3388.9s] We shall not talk about other things.
[3392.4s] But she doesn't sound like a very reputable friend to be around, Moot.
[3396.2s] We just don't want, if you're a friend of Gabriel's,
[3400.1s] I wouldn't want to steer you wrong here.
[3405.7s] Yeah, I guess.
[3408.2s] Well, thanks for your time.
[3410.9s] Of course, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't do more.
[3413.7s] The justice system will have to take its place in this instance
[3417.2s] and if truly your friend is found innocent, she will be released that instant.
[3423.3s] Out of, out of curiosity, before we, what if she's not found innocent?
[3427.1s] What happens then?
[3429.5s] Well, she'll be transferred to a higher security facility, hard labor,
[3436.8s] hard labor, most likely, for these sorts of instances.
[3443.1s] The judge's determination of how long exactly.
[3447.0s] Okay, all right, well, I guess Gabriel and I will be going.
[3453.0s] Gabriel, it's always lovely to see you and he kind of grunts and ushers you out the door.
[3459.5s] You two walk back out the main entrance, he tips his head to the, to the guard and you get out,
[3466.3s] out front of the jail and he looks you square in the face and says,
[3470.7s] first of all, your friend is not getting out.
[3473.7s] No, it didn't sound that way.
[3475.5s] Second of all, pretty sure she's, she's, as you say, innocent and Ms. Mamyamiao is probably
[3483.4s] not going to send her to a labor camp.
[3492.3s] Let's go find you some thief stools.
[3499.5s] Uh, do you know a Mimu?
[3529.5s] It's more of a, yeah, he's draping them across his face.
[3534.5s] No one knows what you're talking about, Tom, except the patrons watching this video.
[3538.9s] Don't be weird about it, Tom.
[3540.4s] You want to see whatever weird shit is happening right now?
[3542.6s] Go to Patreon.com slash Tom Drake.
[3544.7s] And then you'll know exactly what was happening.
[3549.4s] The song's Nowhere Land, Fuzzball Parade, Thunder Dreams, Marty Got's a Plan,
[3555.1s] and Anguish are by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io,
[3560.2s] licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 4.0.
[3563.3s] Visit creativecommons.org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0.